And that is all the information I need…

Hello how's u. I'm Welsh

Hi Welsh, I’m Sarah.

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24 hours on OKCupid

A bumper post! A day (last Sunday) in the life of my inbox.

Hi how are you? Are you interested in casual hookups?

First message of the day sets the tone.

Hi, looking hot. Wanna meet for some fun

BUT WHAT KIND OF FUN COULD YOU POSSIBLY MEAN

Hi there, how you doing? You look nice. Would you be interested in a hook up?

There is somewhat of a theme to messages in the early hours

Hey

Swept off my feet.

Wanna sext on kik. I'm currently deployed and looking for an easy way to see some beautiful women naked or possibly just one woman naked for 9 months. You will get to see me naked to so iys a 2 way street

Oh well if you’re only going to look at pictures of ME naked, then I’m charmed, let me get the camera.

Good morning, I read through your profile and it made me chuckle and nod at times. I like words, crosswords, board games, erotic role playing games, books and plays...I'd love to hear from you but appreciate the age difference may be a bug deterrent, even if nothing else is! [He's 62. I'm 28.]

His profile, by the way, says he’s “open to being a Sugar Daddy if appropriate.”

Be honest have you fantasized being with a strong muscular guy?

BE HONEST.

Sorry to bother you but I just wanted to say that you look absolutely stunning x

I’m not bothered, I’m just…bored. So bored.

You're sexy

I have this great long profile where I write about myself, what I’m interested in, make a few jokes…but I’m SEXY, and that’s the important thing

Hello you look lovely, can we chat? I'm new on this and am just seeing what it's all about. What are you looking for on here?......Hello you look lovely! Could we talk? What are you looking for on here?

I’M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T COPY AND PASTE THE SAME BORING MESSAGE, FOR A START.

You are beautiful

So you all keep telling me.

...No worries if you're busy and stuff. Let me know either way, Hope you're well. Happy Friday......Did you enjoy [name of the actual real life shop I had just left - he saw me there and recognised me from my photo]....Everything ok?.....Why so quiet?

I feel pretty vindicated in my decision to fade out of this conversation months earlier when he started getting a bit intense.

heya

Cool story, bro.

hi I am john, how are you

Mexico! Why are you messaging me from Mexico?

Hello...how are you?

Pretty jaded with online dating tbh.

[All redacted as this was a perfectly nice message]

Not everyone is ridiculous, but this is genuinely the ratio of dross to normality.

Hey how are you x

Thank you and goodnight.