date stories

In the interests of fairness

A (non-exhaustive) list of stupid things I have done on dates:

  • Pretended to have seen the film Labyrinth for the duration of a long conversation about the film Labyrinth. Said “it has a really distinctive aesthetic” many many times.
  • Greeted him with the words “You’re wearing a cardigan!”
  • Drank an ill-advised number of tequila shots with a girl I made friends with at the bar whilst supposed to be getting a round in for my date. Fuelled by too much alcohol, ended up showing off some very regrettable dance moves. It wasn’t the kind of bar where people danced. 
  • Mentioned on the first date that I’d already facebook-stalked him and identified three mutual friends, who I went on to name. Two of them were his exes.
  • Cried. Because of a difference of opinion about the telecommunications industry.
  • Cried because I’d recently been to Hull.
  • Having googled him beforehand and come across his blog, on the first date I started a heated argument about a post he’d written years previously and barely remembered.